Drake's Vision and Multimedia web site my belief in 'Trust' is at an all time low... but not lost.

A bloke's May 2004 online journal

I'm just going with the flow.
any red/green 'highlighted' words are links to deeper stuff.

Monday 3rd May
After three days of pottering around, over the Bank Holiday Weekend,
as I tried to catch up on the backlog of undone things
that this latest Psoriasis hit had caused,
I felt the emptiness in the house, for the first time,
as I wondered at what happens next.

After a long soak and a root in the loose-change bowl,
I popped across to the Woody for a Pint and a chat
and was surprised at the similarities
after accepting Tony's invite for a nightcap chat.

Tuesday 4th May
While I try to tell myself how well I'm doing
I get days like this, when I'm neither use nor ornament
and now I've mislaid my glasses.

Wednesday 5th May
The mail brought no cheer but I felt easier
after a brief visit to the Bank with Charity
before popping to the Hospital for a zap
and then the Supermarket for some essentials.

Tom called in for a chat, about a 'H & S' Conference in September,
and I do hope that I'll be well enough then to enjoy it
but it was hard work, thinking through the Neuralgia.

Thursday 6th May
Tom returned and I managed to find out where I stood with my Mortgage,
while Tom was typing some of the ideas that we had discussed,
about Communicating Information to Diverse Ethnolinguistic Teams,
but I didn't have the stamina to find out what's gone wrong
with the State system of Support for an Englishman in distress.
Obviously I need to find someone else who understands Kafka
but who can cope with the forms.

Looking forward to the opportunity to ask some questions
I got myself easy enough to go across the road
and was intrigued at some of the answers.

Friday 7th May
Went and had another zap and picked up another pack of pills
but, while the treatment seems to be helping,
it's debilitating in it's own way.

Tried to relax with a glass of Merlot and a few Albums
but wonder at the dreams and energy that I must have had,
when I first heard the Before the Flood Album,
while working on an American base, in Germany, in '74.

After Sally had sent me some comforting E-mails
with links to some more Dylan lyrics,
I relaxed with the good tunes
and lovely words.

Saturday 8th May
Pottered about in pyjamas and dressing gown, for comfort,
but felt at ease when Peter popped in.

Tony, from next door, called round to see that all was OK
and I look forward to having a pint with him on Monday,

half a pint if anyone from the Hospital is reading.

Sunday 9th May
Pottered about again and then Margaret, my Sister phoned...
and I offered to talk her through the setting up of MSN Messenger.
By the early hours of the morning, she was at webcam level,
and think she did OK, but wonder what I've unleashed.

I was allowed a break for an hour though, to watch Top Gear.

Monday 10th May
Went for another zap and am impressed at the speedy improvement,
before Sarah phoned to say she would be popping up on Wednesday,
which will be nice, unfortunately, Tony, next door, was unwell,
but, after a soak, I sauntered across to the Woody alone
and enjoyed the banter. Found my glasses... well Tony did,
as I'd left them at his house last week, when we drowned some sorrows.

 Tuesday 11th May
My Sister phoned again, asking why I wasn't at the computer,
as our Mum wanted to see how the webcam worked.
She was well impressed, and it was quite jolly watching the Ooohs and Ahhhs.

Wednesday 12th May
Went for a zap, 2.35 min and later, while tidying up,
my Sister phoned with an idea
but I was unable to chat for long, as the doorbell rang,
and I welcomed Sarah, looking lovely and relaxed,
and we talked, between Sarah's concern for my feeding,
and I explained that I wanted to continue living here, my Home.

I've got a window of opportunity,
as I've come to terms with the fact that I've got good Neighbours,
I've discovered friends who have been there for me,
my children are happy,
and my Health will be acceptable again for a bit...
all I've got to do is work out how my web endeavours so far,
can start to earn an income?

Recent openness caused me to keep nipping in
to see if there were any special E-mails and, later,
I received the lovely E-mail from Sally that I had hoped for.

Thursday 13th May
Pottered around before I got ready for going out and,
as Tony (next door) was still poorly, I still went and had a chat with Tony A,
in the Woody, and agreed to go with him to a 'Speed Dating' session on the 23rd
but wondered at my re-sending of 'There ain't no cure for love'.

Friday 14th May
Saw my Consultant, happy, she doubled the daily pill dose
and I changed room for a zap of light.

Michael phoned and I was pleased with his progress
before I nipped out for an evening Supermarket run
and was rather attracted to a nice lady that I'd noticed, once before,
but I'm not ready to get involved with anyone yet.

Saturday 15th May
Accepted the chance to switch off, a TV day, with the Rugby Cup Final,
League but OK, before Flog it, Vinland and then the Eurovision Song Contest.
While I wouldn't normally watch a programme of 24 acts performing,
the 'European' Voting is wonderful TV, especially assisted by Terry,
but I was aware that Sylvia wasn't sitting alongside.

Sunday 16th May
Coping with the pain threshold better,
it was a toss up between paperwork v mowing the wild lawn
but the needs of survival made me clear the pile on the Dining Table.

I couldn't believe that I've not been getting any help from the State
since 16.12.03, no wonder I'm worrying myself silly.

Monday 17th May
Went for a 3 minute zap
and I'm pleased that the good weather of late
disguises the noticeable tube tan.

After yesterdays disclosures, I phoned the System
and got a sensible answerer, who sorted out the backlog
and I'm sure that my Bank will be pleased at the swift response.
Strengthened, I then chatted with the Council Tax people
and got that sorted as well.

In the evening, I went for a Monday chat in the Woody
and admitted that I've booked a place at the Speed Dating evening
but didn't let on that Tony had been here, as I booked two places.

Tuesday 18th May
Knowing that my Mum's 80th was imminent, I'd psyched myself up
to be fit today and was pleased at how I was feeling
as I collected Sarah and Mark. While I was with Sarah, I text'd Sylvia,
to wish her a Happy Birthday, and got a thanks text back.

It was a lovely 'Summer's day' as we sat out at Mother's
and, after driving Margaret home, we stopped for a chat, before
Sarah, Mark and I called into The Letters Inn, in Tattenhall,
which I used to frequent, 25 years ago.

On the way home, Michael phoned Sarah for advice
on his quick promotion Interview next Friday.

After dropping Sarah and Mark at their home,
I parked the car at my empty home
and went for a pint in the Woody.

Wednesday 19th May
Went for a 3 minute zap, before going into Ellesmere Port
to sort out the Bank, Solicitor, Council Tax and DHSS
and then treated myself to a nice piece of Finny Haddock.

After looking forward to an E-chat with Sally,
I couldn't believe the number of 'phone interruptions, all nice,
that I received as soon as we started to chat...
but they could have done it at a better time.

Thursday 20th May
Had a chat with Arran and was pleased to find a like mind,
maybe there is a way to earn an income.

Perksy, Michael's friend, popped in for a coffee and a chat
and I've agreed to tell him all about 'Speed Dating' next week.

Nearly went across the road but ended up in the Woody
as I'm a bit concerned at how Tony is coping.

Friday 21st May
Just made it in time for my zap, after Tom had popped in,
as we designed a feedback form for the September Conference.

Later I E-chatted with Steve, and Arran,
which gave hope for the survival and development of this web site.

Saturday 22nd May
Managed to cut down most of the back lawn
before finding the Mind Map website.

Sunday 23rd May
Went Speed Dating with Tony
and it was heavy, but fascinating, with 21 nice Ladies,
22 Blokes and 21 table numbers. All of us had a first name sticker
and a number... and went to our numbered table to start.

I happened to be a 1 and talked to Lady 1 at table 1
until a shrill whistle told us to stop talking, make notes (30 sec)
before moving on to Lady 2 at table 2, etc.

3 Minutes of looking into a strangers eyes
and trying to fit in 90 seconds each, was difficult
as I accepted that I couldn't pull a bird
while my health is as it is.

I enjoyed the break, after half a dozen or so contacts,
then another session, break, finishing session, and
I had no problem ticking 10 names on the form (max).

Tony and I had a couple or more beers
and, while he remembered getting home,
I have to admit to not knowing how I got home.

Monday 24th May
Hospital and then my Doctors, who
after commenting on all the exotic blood tests that I've had recently,
signed me off for another 3 Months, but I was more saddened
that Ernie wasn't across at the Woody,
and shocked that he had been assaulted in a Post Office Robbery,
but pleased that he is recovering well and I admire his courage.

I was later intrigued by an E-chat with Arran
and even later bemused by the Flash Mind Reader.

Tuesday 25th May
Received an E-mail from fast-love
and there was no one compatible for me at the moment
but I was pleased that Tony got half a dozen E-mail addresses.

Met Arran for a chat,
over a lunchtime pint in the Woody,
but we didn't leave till midnight.

Wednesday 26th May
After being zapped again, I wasn't much use
but, by the late evening I forced myself to remember
how much I enjoyed playing with concepts.

Thursday 27th May
Received a letter from the Hospital
as it seems I'm probably Gluten Intolerant.
I'm really chuffed that my Consultant
seems to have tracked down the real cause of my discomfort.
OK, I've got to have the tests but the stuff I've read on the web
led me into the nice thought, that I can change my lifestyle
and feel better.

Tom and Albert picked me up in the afternoon
and we headed off to Bacup to enjoy a superb Demonstration
of the Building of King Solomon's Temple, as Chris's Guests.

Friday 28th May
Went for a zap, before chatting with Mother and Margaret
about the pleasant implications of the Gluten news.

Phoned Sarah and just caught her on the way out.

Had a Pizza, and monitored the discomfort level... uncomfortable.

Saturday 29th May
Arran called round and we chatted about stuff here
before I settled down to watch a nice lady,
in the second part of a disaster 'Earthquake 10.5' TV movie,
that I'd anticipated relaxing to and, even though Cyril phoned
with a nice 'no ulterior' motive,
I also was cheered by Tony's phone excitement,
10 minutes before the end.

Had a rice meal, and monitored the discomfort level... comfortable,
before experimenting with a 3 way MSN Messenger E-chat in the early hours
and introduced Arran to Simon, and to Checkers.

Sunday 30th May
Got some house work done and had a bacon butty
and watched TV, bloated, till Tony came around for a chat.

Monday 31st May
Got some washing done and had some boiled eggs and toast
before falling asleep. Later I tried Steak and Onion Pie with chips
but couldn't finish them before Tony called
and we walked down to the Sportsman,
the Woody is closed for renovation,
for a nice 'grumpy old blokes' chat over a couple of pints.

The headache, later, was a bit more severe than usual
and I wonder at whether my knowledge is accentuating reaction,
as I try to maintain a normal eating\drinking pattern
before the biopsy.

Most people would look to life changing hope
that they haven't got whatever they are being tested for
but I'm pretty confident that all these years of pain
will be eased by the future results
and must admit to slipping into illogical 'what if' thoughts,
especially 'if I had been diagnosed before my friend gave up on me'.


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