my belief in 'Trust' is at an all time low... but not lost.
just going with the flow.
red/green 'highlighted' words are links to deeper stuff.
three days of pottering around, over the Bank Holiday Weekend,
as I tried
to catch up on the backlog of undone things
that this latest Psoriasis hit
I felt the emptiness in the house, for the first time,
I wondered at what happens next.
a long soak and a root in the loose-change bowl,
I popped across to the Woody
for a Pint and a chat
and was surprised at the similarities
Tony's invite for a nightcap chat.
While I try to tell myself how well I'm doing
I get days like this, when I'm
neither use nor ornament
and now I've mislaid my glasses.
The mail brought no cheer but I felt easier
after a brief visit to the Bank
before popping to the Hospital for a zap
and then the Supermarket
for some essentials.
called in for a chat, about a 'H & S' Conference in September,
and I do
hope that I'll be well enough then to enjoy it
but it was hard work, thinking
through the Neuralgia.
Tom returned and I managed to find out where I stood with my Mortgage,
Tom was typing some of the ideas that we had discussed,
about Communicating Information
to Diverse Ethnolinguistic Teams,
but I didn't have the stamina to find out
what's gone wrong
with the State system of Support for an Englishman in distress.
Obviously I need to find someone else who understands Kafka
but who can
cope with the forms.
forward to the opportunity to ask some questions
I got myself easy enough
to go across the road
and was intrigued at some of the answers.
Went and had another zap and picked up another pack of pills
but, while the
treatment seems to be helping,
it's debilitating in it's own way.
to relax with a glass of Merlot and a few Albums
but wonder at the dreams
and energy that I must have had,
when I first heard the Before
the Flood Album,
while working on an American base, in Germany, in '74.
Sally had sent me some comforting E-mails
with links to some more Dylan lyrics,
I relaxed with the good tunes
and lovely words.
about in pyjamas and dressing gown, for comfort,
but felt at ease when Peter
from next door, called round to see that all was OK
and I look forward to
having a pint with him on Monday,
half a pint if anyone from the Hospital is reading.
about again and then Margaret, my Sister phoned...
and I offered to talk her
through the setting up of MSN Messenger.
By the early hours of the morning,
she was at webcam level,
and think she did OK, but wonder what I've unleashed.
was allowed a break for an hour though, to watch Top
for another zap and am impressed at the speedy improvement,
before Sarah phoned
to say she would be popping up on Wednesday,
which will be nice, unfortunately,
Tony, next door, was unwell,
but, after a soak, I sauntered across to the
and enjoyed the banter. Found my glasses... well Tony did,
as I'd left them at his house last week, when we drowned some sorrows.
Sister phoned again, asking why I wasn't at the computer,
as our Mum wanted
to see how the webcam worked.
She was well impressed, and it was quite jolly
watching the Ooohs and Ahhhs.
for a zap, 2.35 min and later, while tidying up,
my Sister phoned with an
but I was unable to chat for long, as the doorbell rang,
and I welcomed
Sarah, looking lovely and relaxed,
and we talked, between Sarah's concern
for my feeding,
and I explained that I wanted to continue living here, my
got a window of opportunity,
as I've come to terms with the fact that I've
got good Neighbours,
I've discovered friends who have been there for me,
my children are happy,
and my Health will be acceptable again for a bit...
all I've got to do is work out how my web endeavours so far,
can start to
earn an income?
openness caused me to keep nipping in
to see if there were any special E-mails
I received the lovely E-mail from Sally that I had hoped for.
Pottered around before I got ready for going out and,
as Tony (next door)
was still poorly, I still went and had a chat with Tony A,
in the Woody, and
agreed to go with him to a 'Speed Dating' session on the 23rd
at my re-sending of 'There ain't no cure for love'.
my Consultant, happy, she doubled the daily pill dose
and I changed room for
a zap of light.
phoned and I was pleased with his progress
before I nipped out for an evening
and was rather attracted to a nice lady that I'd noticed,
but I'm not ready to get involved with anyone yet.
the chance to switch off, a TV day, with the Rugby Cup Final,
League but OK,
before Flog it, Vinland and then the Eurovision Song Contest.
While I wouldn't
normally watch a programme of 24 acts performing,
the 'European' Voting is
wonderful TV, especially assisted by Terry,
but I was aware that Sylvia wasn't
with the pain threshold better,
it was a toss up between paperwork v mowing
the wild lawn
but the needs of survival made me clear the pile on the Dining
couldn't believe that I've not been getting any help from the State
16.12.03, no wonder I'm worrying myself silly.
for a 3 minute zap
and I'm pleased that the good weather of late
the noticeable tube tan.
yesterdays disclosures, I phoned the System
and got a sensible answerer, who
sorted out the backlog
and I'm sure that my Bank will be pleased at the swift
Strengthened, I then chatted with the Council Tax people
got that sorted as well.
the evening, I went for a Monday chat in the Woody
and admitted that I've
booked a place at the Speed
but didn't let on that Tony had been here, as I booked
that my Mum's 80th was imminent, I'd psyched myself up
to be fit today and
was pleased at how I was feeling
as I collected Sarah and Mark. While I was
with Sarah, I text'd Sylvia,
to wish her a Happy Birthday, and got a thanks
was a lovely 'Summer's day' as we sat out at Mother's
and, after driving Margaret
home, we stopped for a chat, before
Sarah, Mark and I called into The Letters
Inn, in Tattenhall,
which I used to frequent, 25 years ago.
the way home, Michael phoned Sarah for advice
on his quick promotion Interview
After dropping Sarah and Mark at their home,
I parked the car at my empty
and went for a pint in the Woody.
Wednesday 19th May
for a 3 minute zap, before going into Ellesmere Port
to sort out the Bank, Solicitor, Council Tax and DHSS
and then treated myself
to a nice piece of Finny Haddock.
looking forward to an E-chat with Sally,
I couldn't believe the number of
'phone interruptions, all nice,
that I received as soon as we started to chat...
but they could have done it at a better time.
a chat with Arran and was pleased
to find a like mind,
maybe there is a way to earn an income.
Michael's friend, popped in for a coffee and a chat
and I've agreed to tell
him all about 'Speed Dating' next week.
went across the road but ended up in the Woody
as I'm a bit concerned at how
Tony is coping.
made it in time for my zap, after Tom had popped in,
as we designed a feedback
form for the September Conference.
I E-chatted with Steve, and Arran,
which gave hope for the survival and development
of this web site.
to cut down most of the back lawn
before finding the Mind
Speed Dating with Tony
and it was heavy, but fascinating, with 21 nice Ladies,
22 Blokes and 21 table numbers. All of us had a first name sticker
and a number...
and went to our numbered table to start.
happened to be a 1 and talked to Lady 1 at table 1
until a shrill whistle
told us to stop talking, make notes (30 sec)
before moving on to Lady 2 at
table 2, etc.
Minutes of looking into a strangers eyes
and trying to fit in 90 seconds each,
as I accepted that I couldn't pull a bird
while my health
is as it is.
enjoyed the break, after half a dozen or so contacts,
then another session,
break, finishing session, and
I had no problem ticking 10 names on the form
and I had a couple or more beers
and, while he remembered getting home,
I have to admit to not knowing how I got home.
and then my Doctors, who
after commenting on all the exotic blood tests that
I've had recently,
signed me off for another 3 Months, but I was more saddened
that Ernie wasn't across at the Woody,
and shocked that he had been assaulted
in a Post Office Robbery,
but pleased that he is recovering well and I admire
was later intrigued by an E-chat with Arran
and even later bemused by the
Flash Mind Reader.
an E-mail from fast-love
and there was no one compatible for me at the moment
but I was pleased that Tony got half a dozen E-mail addresses.
Arran for a chat,
over a lunchtime pint in the Woody,
but we didn't leave
being zapped again, I wasn't much use
but, by the late evening I forced myself
how much I enjoyed playing with concepts.
a letter from the Hospital
as it seems I'm probably Gluten
I'm really chuffed that my Consultant
seems to have tracked
down the real cause of my discomfort.
OK, I've got to have the tests but the
stuff I've read on the web
led me into the nice thought, that I can change
and feel better.
and Albert picked me up in the afternoon
and we headed off to Bacup to enjoy
a superb Demonstration
of the Building of King Solomon's Temple, as Chris's
for a zap, before chatting with Mother and Margaret
about the pleasant implications
of the Gluten news.
Sarah and just caught her on the way out.
a Pizza, and monitored the discomfort level... uncomfortable.
called round and we chatted about stuff here
before I settled down to watch
a nice lady,
in the second part of a disaster 'Earthquake 10.5' TV movie,
that I'd anticipated relaxing to and, even though Cyril phoned
with a nice
'no ulterior' motive,
I also was cheered by Tony's phone excitement,
10 minutes before the end.
a rice meal, and monitored the discomfort level... comfortable,
with a 3 way MSN Messenger E-chat in the early hours
and introduced Arran
to Simon, and to Checkers.
some house work done and had a bacon butty
and watched TV, bloated, till Tony
came around for a chat.
some washing done and had some boiled eggs and toast
before falling asleep.
Later I tried Steak and Onion Pie with chips
but couldn't finish them before
and we walked down to the Sportsman,
the Woody is closed
for a nice 'grumpy old blokes' chat over a couple of
headache, later, was a bit more severe than usual
and I wonder at whether
my knowledge is accentuating reaction,
as I try to maintain a normal eating\drinking
before the biopsy.
people would look to life changing hope
that they haven't got whatever they
are being tested for
but I'm pretty confident that all these years of pain
will be eased by the future results
and must admit to slipping into illogical
'what if' thoughts,
especially 'if I had been diagnosed before my friend gave
up on me'.
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don't neglect your Loved Ones