my belief in 'Trust' is at an all time low... but not lost.

A bloke's August 2005 online journal

I'm just going with the flow
but feel in a position to start directing my Destiny
any red/green 'highlighted' words are links to deeper stuff

Monday 1st August
Woke, after listening to the 'Get Around To It' Paraliminal CD in bed
as I drifted off alone, and while I don't feel a flood of re-thought today,
I'm aware that it's motivational message is close to my heart
and, when Ian M brought his P2 '98 PC problem round, I couldn't be bothered
and 'loaned' him an Xp pc, which had moved down my PC pecking order.

Sheena phoned and I was impressed with her intriguing thoughts,
Ok it needs a bit of help, but I remember her sweetness, yet also fancied her young friend
G(J)ill, while Ian ordered Wine and Food, and I enjoyed his company,
especially as I was pleased to coerce his Son into rethinking how he treats his Dad
with purpose, just before my time for wandering across for my Monday hour'ish in the Woody.

Pondered a bit, but I'm happy that my forthcoming Inheritance presents,
a Laptop for Sarah , an Xbox360 for Michael, etc. will cheer them through our wake,
knowing that both Parents are there for them, and for each other, but separate.

Tuesday 2nd August
The skin is a bit too uncomfortable now, three weeks after the Dovobet test,
but was able to enjoy Chris M's company for a chat
and appreciated his kind thoughts, in the holiday carton of Marlboro,
before settling down to rest the arm, to a bit of CSI on the big screen, superb,
before experiencing most of disk 2, of the PhotoReading course.

Wednesday 3rd August
Very uncomfortable, so got a new prescription for Exorex from my Doctor,
again, as I was quite pleased with my last encounter, after Dave W popped in
before Timmie called round with a spare 'wireless' keyboard and Mouse
and we discussed satellite reception for the Media Center,
before I enjoyed Chris M's link to the Paul McKenna experiences, on the new TV.

Thursday 4th August
Mark, my Son-in-Law popped in, early evening, and, as neither of us had eaten,
we popped across to the Woody for something to eat, before the 7pm food stoppage,
unprepared for the Summer rain and, after it had eased, about closing time,
we continued our chat, while playing with our various Toys,
and I was pleased at my interaction with an artistic member of the younger generation.

Friday 5th August
I was pleased to be force-fed in the morning, after Mark made bacon and egg sandwiches,
and then we loaded Half-Life 2 on the Media Center, despite password problems, with a WoW,
and, after he left, despite my discomfiture, I walked down to the Supermarket for provisions
and later, after trying a more sceptical viewpoint, enjoyed testing both the TECO TV and
the Olympus E-300 views, and was intrigued by a couple of digital non-flash counterpoints.

Saturday 6th August
Still very uncomfortable, but was cheered when Peter F popped in,
even though we didn't manage to get my envelopes mail merged,
and enjoyed resting the arm as I tried to relax through some exciting Cricket
but phoned Paranormal John to say that I wasn't well enough to attend tonight's meeting,
and explored the new TV, as I watched old ideas rejuvenated.

Tuesday 9th August
Did nothing of merit over the last couple of days
as the skin's pain overran emotions, although I was able to chat briefly
when Ken B and Paranormal John popped in yesterday
but still struggled with the easing, when Ian M popped in today
but we managed to talk concepts and I ordered the CD Program from Centerpointe.

Wednesday 10th August
Tried to explore some ideas but this present psoriasis hit is staying nasty
and concentration is difficult, but managed to switch off for a bit
with a dose of Half-Life 2, the finest computer game I've experienced.

Thursday 11h August
The Demo CDs arrived from Centerpointe and I'm sure that it is going to be most useful
when I can relax again, and Roger J popped in unexpectedly for a friendly chat,
sufficient for me to make an effort later and pop across the road for a pint with Barry.

Friday 12th August
Discomfort was worse today but I'm determined to be better by Monday,
as I received notification of acceptance for a part time training course
on the 'Success Personal Development Programme', run by the local Council.

Saturday 13th August
Felt a tad better on rising and, after a looong soak in the shower,
was able to chat with Tricia and Keith when they dropped in, and later got absorbed again
in a bit of Half-Life 2 on the TECO TV again, but wasn't fit to visit Plas Teg.

Sunday 14th August
Attacked the skin with smelly stuff again, as I tried to relax through some exciting Cricket,
before a very long soak in salts and lotions, while listening to the demo Cds again,
from Centerpointe, and then took an early'ish night to bed.

Monday 15th August
Woke refreshed, rising before the alarm clocks shrieked, and got the skin fairly comfortable
by the time the Taxi called to take me to the course venue and, as Nick Lewis took us
through the opening session, I knew that I couldn't have asked for more appropriate guidance.

Nick R was waiting outside, as I finished my first days training, and drove me out to see a car
that he thought might suit me, an L Reg., Nissan Primera 1.6 SLX and, despite Roger J
coming to pick me up later, to look at a 1.4 Astra, I agreed to buy the Nissan.

After Nick R had dropped me off back at home, and I'd phoned Roger J and the AA,
Ian M popped in with my parcel from Centerpointe and, after watching the Paul McKenna
TV Show from a different perspective, took another long soak in the bath as I listened to CD1.

Tuesday 16th August
Rose early again and listened to the Dive, on CD2, strange, before getting a Taxi to another fascinating session with Nick L, and Arran was waiting when the day's training ended
and he took me to pick up my Nissan from Saughall Service Station, nice people,
and I felt good behind the wheel again, as Arran followed me home,
and also felt good, speaking to both my Children later, on the phone.

Wednesday 17th August
Listened to the Dive, after preparing my skin for the day ahead,
and enjoyed driving to my further understanding, through Nick L's teachings,
before Paranormal John popped in, and Arran, and they sorted stuff between them,
and then I tried to relax in a long bath soak, while listening to a hypnotic CD,
but failed to remember a Good memory, worthy of expansion.

Thursday 18th August
Another amazing session with Nick L, after a listening of the Dive again and,
while I wasn't fit enough to join Sarah and Lee in a '10 pin' bowling session,
managed to drive to the Supermarket and purchase some heavy provisions and
forced myself to wander across the road for a pint, with Barry and Ben, in the evening
but was still aware of the imbalance of my negative remembrances versus good memories.

Friday 19th August
Saw my Hospital Consultant and avoided being booked in, just, as we settled for more light
and a month's use of Dovobet (rather than my Doctor's 2 week experiment, last month)
and, after a quick covering of unused Dovobet, I thoroughly enjoyed the rapport
at the half way stage of Nick L's training course, but was aware, half way through
the afternoon, that the stinging skin was disturbing my enlightenment and,
apart from a quick response to Ken B's distress (it's lovely to be able to nip into a car again)
I spent most of the evening with grimaces, watching nothing important on TV.

Saturday 20th August
A bad skin day again, allowing me to do little, other than some light washing and cleaning,
and I phoned paranormal John to explain that I wouldn't be fit for a vigil through the night
and it was only when I phoned Lee and Sarah, to wish him a Happy Birthday,
that I remembered that it was also the 2nd anniversary of Sylvia killing our marriage
but I'm glad that all the strife she caused is behind us now, and I can now enjoy moving on.

Sunday 21st August
The ointments are starting to kick in now and I'm able to move easier
as I continued to clear the clothes baskets and turn the living room into a 'Chinese laundry' while I listened to a range of my albums, to see if I could hear the modalities
and was quite surprised that my presuppositions were completely wrong
before Tony A popped in, in the evening, with a few cans for a chat.

Monday 22nd August
Got to the course on time, but was aware that my bed kept me ensnared longer than I wanted,
and thoroughly enjoyed the further understanding that Nick L proffered, despite the lingering discomfort, and phoned Sylvia on returning home, to check that I hadn't upset her, by being open with Linda H, one of her nice clients on the course, and then phoned Sarah for her ideas
on interview questions, and then, later, managed to enjoy good company in the Woody again.

Tuesday 23rd August
A bad nights sleep, but still got up for a one2one with Nick L in the morning
and I thoroughly enjoyed letting a Master direct my thoughts,
which continued through the afternoon course,
before I called into the Woody to sort out the Landlord's PC, on my way home, and
after seeing Ernie in the Bar, after plugging the speakers into the correct output,
I stopped to have a drink with Ernie, and shared a non-Monday banter,
before he took me into the Lounge to share a nice steak meal with him.

On returning home, I found a message from Tom C and, after returning the call,
was intrigued by his latest Health & Safety concept,
before Nick R popped in for an un-wind, and then I wandered across to the Woody
to support Tony A on his troubled Birthday, and enjoyed a bit more camaraderie,
without consciously using any of the skills that I've just learnt.

Wednesday 24th August
Arose in the morning again, with easing skin, although the arm is still of concern and
looked forward to the days activities, which were well met by Nick L's beliefs explanation,
before a supermarket visit and a treat, of a tub of toffee ice cream.

Thursday 25th August
Arrived at the NLP course, early, along with Chris R and Kev D, and we were treated to a superb 'breaking the wood' experience through Nick L, before a very nice young lady, Connie H,
picked most of the group up for a tour of the after-support benefits available to us
and, after I'd dropped Chris R  off at the Woody (OK I had a quick drink and a chat with him)
Tom C and Chris L arrived at my home to chat about the H&S game concept,
before I returned to the Woody for a closing pint, and found that Chris R had also returned
and I enjoyed chatting to him again, and his (and Arran's) friend. It's a small world.

Friday 26th August
Final day of the NLP induction course and I reflected, prior to the event,
but felt so in tune, that I was prepared for the synopsis, which well met my expectations,
and I was pleased that all of us 'learners' swapped phone numbers
as I'm happy that all of us really enjoyed the eclectic mix, and bonded really well,



and, after dropping several participants off, at convenient places,
I called into Sue W's home and recognised her PC problem and, later,
after a prepared committee meeting, and another visit to the Woody, I felt good.

Saturday 27th August
Feeling that stuff was sorted, I awoke without pressure and sorted the kitchen
before Mark, Jason and Mark arrived and, after an exploration of my Ex Son-in-law's
Nikon D70 camera, we all wandered across to the Woody for a nice meal
but the attractive young ladies caused them to think about 'Clubbing' and
after we left, I enjoyed returning to enjoy a late pint with Scotty, as a viewer.

Sunday 28th August
Coated myself with smelly stuff and settled down to watch a bit of relaxing Cricket
but the tension was not good, sitting on the edge of my seat for most of the afternoon,
and was pleased to unwind over a few beers when Tony A popped in for a long Sunday chat.

Monday 29th August
Arrived at Sarah's house and, after a brief intro of her new Laptop, we went into Chester
and enjoyed a saunter and, after nearly an hour of watching a superb street entertainer,
chatted over a nice meal, before meandering through the sounds in the Virgin store,
where I treated myself to a CD by 'America' and a DVD from 'Neil Young' and,
after a return to Sarah's house and setting up her Internet account,
I returned home to receive a Messenger chat from both Michael and Sarah
before a pleasant wander across to the Woody for a Monday pint with the guys.

Tuesday 30th August
Phoned the Hospital back, and agreed to begin Light treatment again,
after my Birthday, and desisted from ordering more medicin from my Doctor
but srtuggled with the pain of skin and arm.

Wednesday 31st August
Sharon phoned about a convenient time, for new windows, central heating, electric wiring,
and stuff, snd before long I was committed to leaving the house empty for refurbishment,
starting the 17th October, when I travel towards Bohemia.