my belief in 'Trust' is at an all time low... but not lost.

A bloke's January 2005 online journal

I'm just going with the flow
any red/green 'highlighted' words are links to deeper stuff

Saturday 1st January
Received a welcome text from Sarah, and text'd back,
and text'd Michael before receiving his reply
and settled down to enjoy a pre-packed Peking Duck alone.

Sunday 2nd January
Phoned Michael to wish him well on his Birthday
and then met Sarah, and Lee, in the Woody, for a Pub Steak,
before being pleased at the token exchange of presents, back home,
and I later pondered my, and the house's, future
which the dark haired stranger had first footed.

Monday 3rd January
Barry, and then Paranormal John, popped in
and I was intrigued at our esoteric commonalities
before Tony A phoned and I shared optimism with Friends in the Woody
and later remembered, as I watched Twelve Angry Men,
that life hasn't been simple for me, for a long time now.

Tuesday 4th January
Tim popped in, after finding my phone was now cut off, in and out,
and I explained that there was nothing that I could do
but wait, in anticipation of the overdue cleansing wave.

Wednesday 5th January
Tried to look at the mounting mail
but only managed to see a precarious pile of problems,
beyond my reach, and passed through another wasted day in hope.

Thursday 6th January
Still in dressing gown, I was pleased to greet Doug
but saddened to hear about Pete F's predicament,
but gladdened, after Doug got me to open some envelopes,
that un-requested Masonic Benevolence was sufficient
for me to speak with Sharon today and post this thought tonight.

Friday 7th January
I'm not sure whether yesterday's relief released much stress
as lethargy ruled my life again today,
apart from clearing the huge backlog of Internet Spam.

Saturday 8th January
Stinging skin was ignored
as I got out of the house and visited Pete F in hospital, who looked well,
before Ian popped in here with a bottle of wine and company.

Sunday 9th January
Woke, aware of dreaming, for the first time in a long time,
and managed to get some clothes washed
but little else.

Monday 10th January
A second night of dreaming was nice
but I was still in dressing gown when Tom and John popped in
before I got stuck into some itchy ironing.

Tuesday 11th January
The interesting dreams seem to be cheese based
but I wonder whether the skin is also reacting badly to it,
or maybe it's just the hunger, that's also driving the lethargy.

Wednesday 12th January
The dreaming continues to keep me in bed, overlong,
or maybe it's the fear of picking up the mid-day mail
but I enjoyed chatting to Roger J later, over a couple of interesting beers,
before Colin C brought his new PC around for me to have a play with
and leaving it with me to personalise.

Thursday 13th January
The empty 'fridge reflected my cold isolation
as I boiled the last two eggs
and toasted a crust, after pinching out a couple of blue bits,
before Paranormal John popped in with a carton of milk
and a super article, in the Pioneer, about his recent ghostly explorations.

Friday 14th January
Doug popped in with his spare printer, as mine was inkless,
and Paranormal John very kindly dropped off a bag of basic provisions
before Colin popped in to pick up his computer
and I put up no resistance
when he slipped me a thank-you envelope.

Saturday 15th January
Took a rare trip to the Supermarket
and bought some basic provisions
before Ian M popped in for an evenings discussion

Sunday 16th January
Cleared most of the backlog of clothes washing
before Tony A popped in for a chat
and then I relaxed with Half-life 2, through the night.

Monday 17th January
The waiting is starting to become weary
but managed to accept Tony A's suggestion
and enjoyed the company in the Woody.

Tuesday 18th January
Still no news in the post but Chris M phoned
to say that he had brought me some Australian Marlboro
before I returned to killing time, as I annihilated some more PC aliens.

Wednesday 19th January
Richard popped in and we discussed Removals and Storage
before Paranormal John arrived with his sad Warrington news
and I ended up killing Aliens through the night
and finished a truly magnificent game, as light broke,
but know that I will end up playing Half-Life 2 again soon.

Thursday 20th January
Although exhausted, I managed to contact my Solicitor
who still had no news, Sharon who was surprised at the lack of news,
and the Chester Business Link who might provide a new angle
before attending the Hooton Park 'Burns Night
as a guest of Johnny B, where we both had a fine time.

Friday 21st January
Woke to find the bag of provisions that Paranormal John had left last night
and thanked him warmly when he phoned later, with concern
that I hadn't been at home last night.

Saturday 22nd January
Steve B popped in with a PC problem and a pack of cigarettes
before Chris M kindly dropped off his Australian present
and I pondered through the evening on our struggles this last decade.

Sunday 23rd January
Tony A popped in for our anti-feminist chat
before Arran popped in, after a long time missing,
and we explored the benefits of PayPal.

Monday 24th January
Paranormal John popped in for a chat
and I agreed to accompany him on his next visit to Plas-teg
before wandering to the Woody for a charitable pint.

Tuesday 25th January
Bad news in the mail again
and phoned Social Security, my Solicitor and Sharon again
but still have no news to hearten.

Wednesday 26th January
Downloaded a program from PolderbitS, for converting my LPs to CD,
and ended up stripping my front room hi-fi setup
and reorganising my PC desk to take the amp\record player,
which was no easy task, but worth it,
if only to take my mind off hungry realities.

Thursday 27th January
Tested the 'LP to mpg' concept and was impressed
with the quality of the conversion of the first few attempts
at de-scratching, The Prophet, Al Stewart and Harry Chapin, LPs
before Claire popped in and then later, Paranormal John popped in
with loaf, milk and beans, ahead of my first foray to the Haunted House.
Later still, when the arm started to give me a bit too much discomfort
I turned to the TV and was fascinated, perchance, by the movie Pi.

Friday 28th January
Walked into Ellesmere Port with a kind cheque from Silecroft
and called on Ian M in passing, and enjoyed his company as we walked,
but was confused by my Solicitor's denial of stuff happening
especially when later I spoke with Sharon, who informed me
that we were at 'Exchange of Contract' level
and, after a Chapter Committee meeting, later
I mused with Ian J on our common feminine discrepancies.

Saturday 29th January
Paranormal John picked me up at 6pm and, along with Elsie and Dave,
we headed off to Plas Teg, where we were joined by some 50 odd explorers.
On returning home at 4am, I viewed the pictures that I had taken
and found about 20 which contained aberations of the Orb type

but more importantly, I enjoyed the new experience.

Sunday 30th January
Perksy, Michael's best friend woke me early, as he was passing
but I enjoyed chatting to him about stuff
and was pleased to receive an E-mail from him later,
after he had installed Spybot and Ad-Aware on his PC
and l was also pleased to chat over a beer with Tony A in the evening.

Monday 31st January
Unable to rise in time to see who rang the doorbell,
I got up at mid-day and phoned my Solicitor, and Sharon,
before attempting to record Mickey Newbury's 'Frisco Mabel Joy'
from my two copies of the '71 album but found too many scratches
and will buy a CD version when I've got some money... and then Sylvia phoned.

We chatted amicably before I moved from maudlin to Rock
and managed to copy Golden Earring, Neil Young and the Steve Miller Band
onto the computer, before Sarah phoned to say that she would visit on Sunday.

I made the effort to pop across the road to the Woody for the last hour
and was cheered when Ernie presented me with a record player
and Scotty handed me his copy of 'Viking Mersey' before I returned home
to watch my usual recording of Hack and, after a lot of thought,
chose Flaming Youth and a Beaver&Krause album to end an eventful day.