my belief in 'Trust' is at an all time low... but not lost.

A bloke's May 2005 online journal

I'm just going with the flow
any red/green 'highlighted' words are links to deeper stuff

Sunday 1st May
Pottered around the house
till Tony A called round with his bag of beers
and we shared our Angst
before my Son, Michael, sent me his web explorations
and Arran joined us in an MSN Messenger chat through the night.

Monday 2nd May
Pained in arm and spine, compounded by hunger,
managed to get across to the Woody and distributed Ernie's print outs
but conscious that my mind wasn't relaxed.

Tuesday 3rd May
Tom popped in, and I enjoyed the chance to be a clever-clog,
before he ran me down to the hole in the wall,
where I snook enough to buy a bit of food
before the bank gobbled up my sick pay
and later Arran and Loz popped in with a cheering pack of Marlboro.

Wednesday 4th May
Tom dropped in again and I loaded his new program on his laptop PC
and I enjoyed offering my artistic inclinations
as we explored his new concept in diffusing important Health & Safety information.

Thursday 5th May
Although the pain is building
managed to saunter down to the Polling Booth and cast my vote
before settling down to watch the Election results through the night.

Friday 6th May
Pained sleep caused me to miss my Hospital appointment
and nothing was accomplished through the waking hours.

Saturday 7th May
Feeling rough, I switched off from pain and was sufficiently engrossed
in part two of Wagner's Ring: The Valkyrie, on BBC2 in the afternoon,
to clap enthusiastically, in solitary applause, at its conclusion,
and relish the final two instalments, next year,
before being picked up for an uneventful night at Plas Teg.

Sunday 8th May
Watched a tape of last nights Channel 5 broadcast of The Body
and, while it took my mind off the toothache, felt underwhelmed
but got some washing done during the adverts
and was pleased when Tony A phoned to check
whether I fancied a bit of friendly chat and alcoholic anaesthetic.

Monday 9th May
Woke late afternoon, but didn't open the Solicitors letter till later,
and eventually read that there's another three weeks to exchange
before Ian M popped in for an early evening chat and, after he nipped next door
for a bottle of wine, I taped the BBC programme How Art Made the World
before I wandered across to the Woody for a fairly painless Monday pint.

Tuesday 10th May
While I didn't get around to finding a Dentist
I did manage to get a few useful things done
and managed to eat a meal after Paranormal John kindly popped in.

Wednesday 11th May
Another barrage of Spam caused me to lose all my e-mails, many unanswered,
and, by the time that Paul popped in, I had taken my mind of it
by cutting the lawn, and enjoyed Paul's home made cider, in careful sips.

Thursday 12th May
After another 600 spam e-mails, I enjoyed Cyril's offer of an unconditional pint
in the Old Wirral Hundred and enjoyed the sight of some nice female forms
but wonder at how many are cheating on their husbands
and, after being dropped off at home, then went for a last pint in the Woody,
before returning home, alone, to watch an intriguing Revelation.

Friday 13th May
Made the mistake of opening some bills,
but trust that I can get through the next couple of weeks,
but was was cheered that the swelling of the jaw had eased.

Saturday 14th May
Left mail unopened and had a potter in the garden
before trying to track down faulty links in my web site
but managed to take my mind of the tooth later, with a bit of Robert Plant.

Sunday 15th May
Pottered in kitchen and garden again, in fine weather,
but discomfort forced me to take my mind into my Timeline
before Sarah texted, from a pub quiz, and I'll look forward to next Sunday.

Monday 16th May
Selectively opened a letter from my Solicitor,
and happily made an appointment for the 24th,
before continuing to correct errors through my website links
and, after Peter F popped in, added a few more dates to my Timeline,
but couldn't find any string to pull out my dodgy tooth.

Tuesday 17th May
After failing to sleep, pulled the tooth out and slept late
but managed to get out and post Mother's Birthday card
before Paranormal John popped in, with a kindly bag of foodstuff.

Wednesday 18th May
Couldn't bring myself to phone my creditors, again,
and escaped into correcting bad links on my site again
but managed to phone my Mum and wish her a Happy Birthday
but couldn't bring myself to offer such greetings to my Ex
before going to bed eventually, feeling guilty.

Thursday 19th May
Managed to buy some time with a couple of worries but gave up
after I was cut off while waiting for the Building Society's complaints Dept.
and retreated into researching my Timeline again, when I was surprised
to have an MSN Messenger chat with Doug, as he made contact prior to breakfast,
in Australia, visiting his family, as I prepared for another late bedtime here,
and it was lovely to hear that Jack and Kim have done so well in Australia,
as they were once my neighbours, across the road in what is now Dave and Rachel's house.

Friday 20th May
Pete F rang the doorbell, a minute after 12, and I rose early and found no naughty mail,
but plenty of naughty Ad-ware on the Club's PC and, as if life wasn't difficult enough,
I later had to choose between Kafka or Orson Welles... no contest, Prague here I come.

Saturday 21st May
Smiled at seeing no new mail again and piled up existing angst into one heap
as I pottered around the house, tidying up in preparation for Sarah visit,
but found myself watching the Football Cup Final, with interest,
before Paranormal John picked me up for another vigil at Plas Teg
which produced a few thought provoking incidents, without photographic proofs.

Sunday 22nd May
Rose early and was well awake when Sarah arrived and, after chatting over a cup of tea
and listening to a couple of her new interesting sounds, Damian Rice and Rufus Wainwright,
we wandered over to the Woody for a nice meal and more chatting, and I felt better
as I waved her off in her taxi later, before Pete F and Paranormal John briefly popped in,
before Tony A arrived with his bag of beers for our Sunday evening consolation chat
and then I settled down to watch last nights recording of the excellent Michelangelo Code.

Monday 23rd May
Woke early but couldn't get out of bed, despite ringing phone and front door, and,
on rising early afternoon, did a lot of sighing as I resisted phoning my Ex, about tomorrow,
and, after buying a bit of food, took advantage of a Monday Pint refuge in the Woody.

Tuesday 24th May
Forgot to switch off the 3rd Alarm clock and wrongly grumbled about next door's delivery lorry
but got to the afternoon appointment, in plenty of time to study the waiting room art,
and returned home wondering whether the next brow will eventually be a summit.

Wednesday 25th May
Lethargically lolled around the house
as I tried to offset the Legal procrastinations
and avoided thinking about the increased outbreaks of psoriasis.

Thursday 26th May
Pulled myself together and phoned Sharon, who informed me that stuff had happened,
so overcame disappointment and contacted Sylvia, who explained her Solicitor's gobbledygook
before I contacted my Solicitor's secretary for more obfuscation and was pleased
when Cyril called round and took me off for a pint at the Rake, before losing myself
in Question Time, on European Voting, in France, where I would be a Non voter.

Friday 27th May
Settled in to watch the cricket as the ointments eased the skin a bit
and Pete F kindly popped in, in passing, but numerous further distractions
of other people's problems, through evening and night, didn't help ease the mind.

Saturday 28th May
The recent stinging phase was particularly strong, through the intermittent sleep,
but more ointment again eased the pain on rising and I looked forward to an isolation day
but the doorbell rang to the visit of the TV Licence Inspector
and I trust that my explanation of my predicament, after the Legal Caution, will prove
that there was no premeditation and that it was just an error in my concept of time.

Sunday 29th May
Tried not to dwell on misfortunes and tried to rethink the layout of the front room
but got waylaid into rebuilding an unused PC that has been awaiting attention for 6 months
when Sarah phoned to say that she and Lee were on their way with some furniture,
which wouldn't fit into her new home, and I was happy to fill the front room
with my reclining chair and Settee, as the replacement looks pretty cool
and the futon will provide better sleep than the existing guest single bed
but it was only a brief visit, as they had a lot to do in their own home.

Monday 30th May
Tried to focus on making space in the front room
but mind and skin irritations made it slow work
and gave up, to lose myself in Reality TV

Tuesday 31st May
Phoned the Bank, in response to their letter,
and my Solicitor, Sharon, Sylvia and,
once I knew that there was still another three weeks of tribulation to go,
phoned Sarah, who kindly offered to loan me some more time,
before Paranormal John popped in and took away the TV Licence card.