my belief in 'Trust' is at an all time low... but not lost.

A bloke's October 2005 online journal

I'm still going with the flow
but feel in a position to start directing my Destiny
any red/green 'highlighted' words are links to deeper stuff

Saturday 1st October
Rose late and apologised to Paranormal John for not being able to attend again tonight,
but I'm pleased to be able to use the front door key without trouble,
and enjoyed a strange 'Bob Dylan' film later.

Sunday 2nd October
Got up in the Morning, in time for my Hospital Zap, and was pleased to see Arran
when he popped in later, and enjoyed sharing a Chapinchap moment, to a background
of Mr Tanner, pre- X-Factor. when Tony A and I chatted, in an enjoyable Sunday Session.

Monday 3rd October
Thought about stuff, and realised that I don't know where I am
as far as Body versus Mind is concerned
but managed to get myself sorted for an enjoyable 'Woody' visit in the evening.

Tuesday 4th October
Missed my hospital visit, after a nice phone chat with Vince,
and then Nick L popping in for another thought provoking chat
over a tasty meal in the Woody, and remain convinced
that the re-modelling of my mind
will aid the bodily discomforts.

Wednesday 5th October
Four PCs with TV cards and yet was unable to capture a VCR tape to disk
and spent a frustrating day trying to capture Nick's 'Bandler' tape
but enjoyed watching the content, which confirmed my intent.

Thursday 6th October
Tried to take my mind off the dodgy fingers
but gave up on tape conversion again
but wasn't up to going out in the evening.

Friday 7th October
Found the phone number that Sylvia had provided, for a skip,
and, after another visit to the hospital for a zap,
coated myself in ointment and eased the stings.

Saturday 8th October
Stinging skin and throbbing fingers caused a nothing day.

Sunday 9th October
Got up early and got to the hospital on time
before clearing some washing and some more cupboards
before an enjoyable phone call with Nick L in the evening.

Monday 10th October
The skip arrived early, and I was impressed that I was ready before 9,
and filled the 8yds by the evening, after a nice chat and coffee with Gordon L,
in passing, one of my Grammar School Teachers, and then Mum popped in,
and reckon that I could still fill another skip with accumulated stuff from the past,
and really enjoyed a Monday Pint in the Woody later.

Tuesday 11th October
Aches kicked in and nothing was achieved
but got another zap
before Ian M, and a Son, briefly popped in later.

Wednesday 12th October
Forgot the aches in the evening
while enjoying Cyril's kind invite to Doug and Roger H's big night
and was enthralled by a deep discussion later, about 'What is Freemasonry about'.

Thursday 13th October
Aware that stuff that should have happened hadn't,
I couldn't skip Sylvia's wedding hats
but managed to get some more Magpie tendencies tamed.

Friday 14th October
Arran kindly popped in, in the morning, and we got a lot of boxed 'magpie moments'
up into the loft, before another zap, 5 more to go,
but preferred Napoleon to Angus as I plastered my 3 fingers again
as I played with Memory
and tried to understand my interest in the Enneagram.

Saturday 15th October
Shifted stuff around
and felt guilt at taking time out to relax with TV in the evening
but trust that my Enneagram 5's 'last minute action'
will ensure a successful rejuvenation of the house.

Sunday 16th October
Boxed up so many memories
as the discomfort eased, while the skip sat outside
and was pleased when Arran popped in again to help me fill the loft.

Monday 17th October
Arran kindly phoned at quarter after 7, in the Morning,
and, in addition to the 3 alarm clocks, I got up
in time for the Plumbers and Forshaw's Electricians,
and enjoyed being a part of the transformation of 'our' house
that I'm now renting.

Stuff went well and I was happy to phone Sharon, with good end-of-day feelings,
and was glad to force myself across to the Woody in the evening,
especially as I found Doug, Peter F and Roger H sitting there
but more importantly, after, was ably to declare, to Tony A and Ernie,
the importance of the help that Doug had provided in my darkest hours
and later enjoyed a closeness with Claire, Wayne and friend
as I caught up with her penultimate day, as a transient neighbour.

Tuesday 18th October
The double-glazing people arrived, to the chagrin of the radiator installers
but good progress was made in transforming the building
and the weather was kind to my nesh bones. during the evening space-making.

Wednesday 19th October
Tom C rang the doorbell and then filled his car, while I showered late,
and I really enjoyed our chat with Helen S, in Worksop (could have been more positive),
and also spending time with the pressures of Tom's love of work,
but I'm happy that my future ideals will continue to avoid such employment,
that I would probably find too stressful, now, as I would now prefer to help others relax.

Returned to a cold house but was impressed at the progress
that had been made during the day but took refuge, later, in a warm 'Woodys' pint
to warm me up, in good company, with Tony A and Dave, the Duke, the barman.

Thursday 20th October
Woke when strange men entered my bedroom
but found that they were Bomar Alarms, surveying for the new security system,
and, once working, was impressed, but didn't test it later
when I locked up the house to attend John B's invite to a, superb, Hooton Park Initiation
and a reason to enjoy another alcohol experience with Barry and Ben.

Friday 21st October
The guys from Dee Glas got me sealed, and Dennis,
from Owen's Plumbing Services, got the house warmed, on time,
and, after a zap and Supermarket run,
enjoyed a visit to the Woody with Ian M
and an interesting chat into the morning, over a bottle of Red Wine.

Saturday 22nd October
Managed to get the living room tidy before picking Sarah and Lee up,
and their present of a bottle of 'wonderful' Jägermeister, and was really pleased,
as its hard to find in the Uk, as I've long enjoyed the occasional pleasure,
but know that I would have long ago become addicted,
before we went to the Woody and then a lovely chat in my new home... a smashing night.

Sunday 23rd October
Rose late, but missed my hospital zap and then didn't achieve much, before Tom C popped in with his two lads in the afternoon, before Tony A and I enjoyed a Sunday chat
through to A.M., after I introduced him to the pleasure of the Jäger.

Monday 24th October
Woken by the soft hammering of the Double Glazing guys, and was awake
when the Facia division arrived, before a phone chat with Sylvia, and a thoughtful Monday
visit to the Woody, where I couldn't disagree with Tony A's statement, that I still miss Sylvia,
a lot, but remain pleased with my reactions so far, and am attuned to going forward alone
but wish she could have been a part, as stuff comes together... synchronicity.

Tuesday 25th October
The Facia\Gutter guys finished, and then the Double Gazing guys returned to clean up,
before Sylvia arrived to pick up her un-forwarded mail, but she didn't stop for a cup of tea,
and, after a zap, then began clearing the debris that her pleasures have left behind.

Wednesday 26th October
Two of the main guys returned, from Dee Glas, to finish off the job
and I'm embarrassed that I can't name them here, as I didn't ask,
as they have both done a super transformation of the house,
but I know that I'll be able to buy a drink for at least one of them in the Woody soon,
and was happy to phone Sharon with the excellent completion news.

Continued to clear up the debris of the house transformation,
and realised why Solvents shouldn't be freely available,
but enjoyed a good phone chat with Nick L, as I envisioned what we're going to do
with this new space, that is now just a building, but accepted Tony A's call to the Woody,
and was pleased to see Pete F, Tony M and Andrew were also there.

Thursday 27th October
The dust of yesterday's clean-up hit like a flu bug and nothing was achieved,
maybe I just don't know where to start, on the internal house re-design
and took refuge in the Woody, for what is becoming a too common 'last hour's' company.

Friday 28th October
Woken in the morning by Phil, who fitted a smoke, and a carbon monoxide, alarm
before Ian M returned a couple of CDs and we shared our lethargies, but was prepared,
after my last zap, for the evenings committee meeting, and another 'last hour' at the Woody.

Saturday 29th October
After a strange dream, where a kiss was the highlight,
an attractive Lady mirrored my pauses, in the supermarket aisles,
but I didn't have the bottle to comment on her nice scent, and phoned Tony A,
 in need of common company, later, in the Woody, as I determined that we both
must trust the female form more, before I enjoyed a recording of the last, superb, Afterlife.

Sunday 30th October
Despite the fingers causing some distress,
managed to get some washing and ironing done
before Tony A arrived for a Sunday evening chat.

Monday 31st October
After sorting out the living room, Chunkie popped in,
and I look forward to receiving his quote for 'painting and decorating' my home,
as it needs more than my inadequacies can handle, and then, after frightening 'Trick or Treat' youngsters, by wearing my mask to provide their treat, and then an AGM across the road,
I enjoyed a smashing night of last-hour company, in the Woody.